Ass grabs for beer

Almost forgot this amazing series of events from friday night
me to dave mar: here is your beer
dave marr: no thats yours
me:no its for you
DM: no its not
(these same two lines repeat another ten times or so until)
DM: Ill take it if you grab that chicks ass
Me: sure, grabbing random chicks ass as she walks by
Random chick: (turning with a comlete look of shock and dismay to this bold manuveur)
Me: (to random chick) you may go now
and dave mar kindly accepts the beer and I return to the bar for another one. Looking back on this story it makes simply no sense at all, which is why it is so awesome

obviously

Tavern sucks on saturday nights. Too many people who think they are too cool and not enough goofy people. This is kind of a pointless entry because this is a rather obvious fact

Thats mine biotch

Last night some random chick kept stealing my hat from me at the bar. Let me be very clear here that this is simply unacceptable behavior. However Im not positive but I think I may have brought this upon myself by sneaking into the background of a picture she was taking and making goofy face. Anyways this happens the first time (she steals my hat) and I go over and goofy dance and the hat is returned. This was my fatal error because once someone sees the goofy dance they simply cant get enough of it. Roughly five minutes (or maybe an hour who knows the concept of time is very skewed when drunk) later I once again feel my hat snatched off my head. By the way this in itself is an impressive thing because this girl couldnt have been taller than like 5'4 so she had to get up pretty high to pull this off. Anyways the second time I deliver something I like to call the goofy sprinkler. Hat returned. Third time goofy running man. Fourth time goofy chicken dance. Fifth time goofy carlton (no where near as good as P. Donnys but hey I gave it my best). Anyways this carried on for god only knows how long. The morals of this story are many. First if you want my attention just talk to me. Second I should know better than to reward such unacceptable behavior with something as good as the goofy dance. Finally I love beer. That is all (I must go retrieve the truck from impound but more on that later

Extreme

On a scale from one to ten with one being not extreme and ten being extremely extreme. This hangover rates about an 8.5 More information to come later.

Goofyness for all to enjoy

As promised in my last post the ridiculous stories from san diego continued last night as I found myself once again and longboards and as is par for the course, really really drunk. What started off as simply making one goofy face for a picture quickly escalated into a battle of one ups manship involving myself, chris and stinkypants. There were many highlights but the top one for the evening would have to be putting bunny ears on the guy that was hitting on stinky pants shortly before playing the role as fake boyfriend to chase him away. The fake boyfriend card is a funny one to play after the guy had been hitting on stinky, or at least trying to, for the past twenty minutes or so while I was standing right there. Good times for all. Oh and what better way to end such an evening that running from Longboards in PB to clairemont barefoot. While this isnt nearly as exceptional as meatballs epic run from the UW to edmonds, the barefoot element makes it special in its own way. The goofy pics and dance are posted on stinkys blog, check them out and enjoy

Im not homeless

For the past week or so the question of where I was going to be living was up in the air. Barry the landlord from hell, i.e. d-bag of the month and strong competitor for d-bag of the year decided that it was not alright for Chris and I to be subletting. Apparently we look like hooligans or something. Anyways it turns out that finding a new home in San Diego in roughly 72 hours time is not as easy as it should be, especially when people say they will call you back the next day but fail to and do not answer there fun. If it wasnt for Barry that guy would have been d-bag of the month. Fortunately I got the last laugh because as of last time I checked his apartment was not rented out which means he was losing about fifty bucks a day. Anyways as previously stated I have found a place to live, it is in Clairmont. If you know San Diego you know that this is not exactly the birthplace of cool but its cheap as hell and a month to month lease, pretty much the best thing I could have asked for on such short notice. I am renting a room in what I can only describe as a hippy commune. Its not quite a full hippy commune, Im not asked to raise anybodys kids or anything, but the people here do have meditation meetings and zen masters. The people are all nice though and it will provide some interesting life experience for me, I think. On the positive side Mission Bay is just minutes away and seems to have much less beach jerks than PB, Im pretty sure beach jerks prefer waves to the bay. Additionally it only takes me about half an hour to get to work on my bike and the hills provide a pretty good workout. Finally I found a Marshalls down here and it provided me with some super sweet T-shirts including the compton all stars shirt which I had been searching for in my size for about 2000 miles. Yes maybe things are starting to swing my way. Im probably going out tommorrow night so hopefully once again the stories of craziness in PB will resume now that the drama of Barry the Dbag landlord is behind me

A new game

An amazing new drinking game was created last night, basically I was watching the suns mavericks game and decided it needed to become a drinking game. It was determined that every twelve points were scored by your time you had to consume a drink, a drink was defined as either 12 ozs of beer or a shot of liquor. I played with the mavericks and chris was the suns. At the end of the game we were both winners because it wasnt even eight and we were already pretty drunk. At seemed like a waste to not do something with this drunkenness so we decided to embark on a night out on the town. Several insights from the evening

-moondoggies has 3 dollar jager shots on saturdays, delicious

-moondoggies is a very difficult word to text message (seriously try it)

-people from new jersey arent neccessarily the dickheads I thought they were, in fact they can be quite pleasant and insightful

-Bathroom attendants are the second most annoying thing in the world just behind beach jerks.

-Longboards is the new go to spot for when Im almost blacked out and feel the need to push it over the edge

-beachcruisers sure are alot of fun to ride when your wasted, Im told the cops give tickets for such things though so I will not likely be doing it again any time soon

-When you call somebody once and they dont answer, they probably dont want to talk to you at 1:30 in the morning. When you call the seven more times they will finally answer but still dont want to talk to you. When you call them sixteen times they simply become pissed off.

-that is all

Beach Jerks

Went to the beach today. The beach jerk level was higher than is prefferable. I am curious as to what persuades people to become beach jerks and am thinking about studying this phenomenon. At the very least I will compile a list of ways to recognize beach jerks to keep anyone thinking about visiting safe. Keep an eye out for this in the future, or if you have any advice for such a list let me know.