Breastacles

Are you a man? Do you have boobs? Then you sir are the proud owner of a set of breastacles!!!! Possibly the funniest word ever

Ted

Dear United Airlines
What the hell were you thinking? At what point during the day does it seem like not only a plausible idea but a good idea to cancel several early morning flights including the one I was supposed to be on. At the point this idea seems good could you at least have the courtesy to call me with the contact information I provided when booking my ticket and let me know so I dont show up at the airport at four oclock in the morning for my non existent flight. Furthermore if you arent going to let people know and help them reschedule in advance could you please schedule more than four people to work your freaking ticket counter so I dont have to stand there and wait for hours just to find a flight. Furthermore after all things are settled and I have found a new flight could you please just give me a normal ticket, not a ticket for my old flight with the infor basically crossed out and new info written on with a ballpoint pen. If this doesnt scream out additional screening to security I dont know what does. That was fun. Furthermore my ear started bleeding when I was waiting in the airport. I havent figured out why yet but Im pretty damn sure that this is your fault to. I hate you "ted" and I hope we never meet again. You such at being an airline because you cannot complete the most basic tasks such as actually having flights. I hope you go bankrupt, get aids, and die.
-The Pit

Oregon

Dear Oregon,

I effing hate you. There was a time when I thought you were a pretty respectable place. Portland always seemed like a decent city and your state university mascot is the beaver, whats not to like about that. However things have changed. First and foremost 55 mph (not to mention 50 through portland) is not an acceptable speed limit for I-5. The exact same road that California and Washington have no problem posting a 70mph speed limit on when between major cities you seem to think has to be posted at 55, or occasionally 65 when you are feeling generous. I see no purpose for this other than trying to generate revenue for you statewide socialist healthcare that you would love to implement. Why dont you just become Canada (Im not really against public healthcare, Im just upset with Oregon).
Secondly, what is the effing deal with your gas stations. Let me brake it down nice and simple, if you dont know how to pump your own gas you should not be operating a motor vehicle PERIOD, no excuses. Almost every other state in the country allows self service gasoline and their doesnt seem to be a major problem with people accidentally drinking gasoline or blowing gas stations up. This nifty little system you have in place provides one problem, when its three in the morning and I need gas to continue on my road trip its impossible to find a station with an effing attendant on duty. The best thing about self service is a freaking credit card machine can sell you petrol at any time of the time. So get on board with the rest of the country on this one california and do away with the full service gasoline station legal requirement. Its as bad as bathroom attendants at not so fancy bars in San Diego.
If my lifes journeys never again bring me to Oregon I will be more than OK with that
Sincerely No Longer Yours
The Pit

3 ozs to 1 gallon

The approximate ratio of energy drink to gasoline required for completing my nearly straight through drive from San Diego to Brier. I stopped half way through Oregon and took about a two hour nap then was back on my way. I seem to remember last time I did this I said never again, however when I get it set in my mind that Im getting somewhere, I seemingly cannot be stopped.

D-Rod

What did you do last night? Yeah thats great it doesnt really matter because I hung out with Dennis Rodman. And when I say hung out I mean stinkypants and I did our best to take pictures positioned so that good ole Dennis Rodman would be in the background. Yes Tequila was prominently involved, no D-Rod did not appear to be on the tequila train. No I am not telling a lie photographic evidence may be supplied soon to back up this outlandish claim.

Sacrifices to save the world

I was reading through a packet of papers sent to me by americorps and came across some interesting information. Being the supervisor provides me numerous benefits in the americorps system, for example I will be the only person in the house with my own room. Sweet deal right? I thought so but upon further review it turns out this room is somewhat small, it was described as a walk in cupboard converted into a bedroom. Who the hell do they think I am, Harry freaking Potter. Living in a cupboard under the stairs. As if leaving the paradise I live in now wasnt a big enough sacrifice I now have to live in a freaking box. COME ON

The dawning of an era

Just as meatballs volkswagen jetta era is coming to an end, the pits jetta era is beginning. Thats right folks I have aquired a 97 jetta to transport me off to cape cod to start my new life, ciabooyah

Frustration level high

Does anyone else find adobe acrobat and PDF files to be the most worthless thing computers have to offer? I understand the basic idea behind it, scanning documents into small files is a wonderful idea. But why can't you make a program that performs this function and performs properly on a consistent basis? How do you get away with selling software that seems to work properly maybe 5% of the time and the other 95% just sucks balls. I despise you adobe and plead to any and all nerds out there with computer hacking skills to devise a better system for pdf files and cause the downfall of acrobat forever

Cheers to cheers

In out usual overachieving ways Brett Baulake and I not only completed our goal of sixty cheers in one vacation but went above and beyond the requirement of 60. We cheers to TO and OT. We cheersed to ken hamlin, Jerry Stackhouse and Brian Bosworth. We cheersed to Jan Palmer, Pam Axelson, and Becky. Yes nicole we drank to you to. We drank to girls on bikes, we drank to longboards the bar and longboards the surfboards. We drank to cheers the TV show as well as the act of cheersing. We drank to a whole lot of things that I cant recall because we drank too much. I would just like to say excellent work to myself and brett bauleke as well as the numerous beer makers, bar owner, cab drivers, and everyone else who participated and made this dream a reality, cheers to you all

Look at my foot

The other night when trying to enter moondoggies the bouncer at the door stops me and inquires as to if I have been drinking. The only response I could come up with at the time was yes but only at the beach (as if the beach is some sort of safe haven where drinking does not count at all). The bouncer hesitates to this answer so I follow it up with look at my foot, not entirely sure where I was going with this but it worked out, they let me into the bar, awesome

Americorps

So as promised on myspace I am using my blog to share information about the latest life altering decision I have made. Last week I decided that I will be leaving San Diego and moving to cape cod where I will be an americorps supervisor. The decision was a difficult one but I feel it was the proper one to make. San Diego is a wonderful place and I have had nothing but a good time since I got here. However times became much less fun once I started working at a dead end job that I completely despised. The beach the sun and the surfing will all be missed, as will the friends I have made since I arrived, but I realized that paradise is no longer paradise when you spend 40 hours a week doing something you hate with no end to it in sight. That is basically the thought that was going through my mind when I applied for the position with americorps. While I have my doubts that cape cod will be as nice as San Diego, in fact I have my doubts any place could be as nice as San Diego, I think it will be a good life experience to live on the east coast for a year. My number one reason for moving to San Diego was to experince living in a new part of the country and while I feel I have only scratched the surface of that hear cape cod will provide me the same opportunity. Additionally I really think the postition with amercorps will be something I truly enjoy. The problem I have been having since graduation is that I do not feel like life in a cubicle all day is the proper life for me. At the same time I dont really want to be a manual laborer and without a science degree there are not many other options in the environmental field. With amercorps I will both be networking and planning environmental restorationg projects and in the field supervising americorps crews with carrying out these projects. This hybrid aspect is very appealing to me. So although the money sucks and I have to move across the country to do it, I think I am making the proper choice in saving the world and doing it in a manner I can enjoy. If anyone has any questions about what I am doing or comments about my decision or americorps in general I would love to hear what others think about this.

4th

The fourth of July in San Diego is pretty sweet, those of you who live down here already know this. For those of you that are unaware there is really only one thing I can say to encapsulate the sweetness of it, and that is the fact there was a doorman at the 7-11 last night. Thats right a 7-11 employee standing at the door to open it for all patrons coming and going. This raises some new questions of 7-11 etiquette. Is it proper to tip a 7-11 doorman. I generally dont believe in tipping people just for opening a door, but what if I need assistance in locating something? If I ask him where I can find the budweiser and he points me to the beer aisle does this service warrant a gratuity?

Pokez

went to the beach today, tried boogie boarding but gave up after a lot of work and little success. Ocean Beach has a much lower beach jerk factor than pacific beach which is nice. After the beach We went to pokez and I enjoyed a delicious mahi mahi burito. Im not sure but I may have a new favorite burito joint. Brett and I are attempting to complete sixty cheers while he is down here visiting. The stipulations are as follows, no repeating any cheers whatsoever, if a cheers is repeated and you are called on it you must immediately pound your drink and buy the next round. Each drink can only be cheers'd once. it should make for alot of interesting things the next couple of days

Unemployed

Yesterday I was offered a total of $106.20 to quit my job. I obviously accepted. This also meant that I was able to go to cass street last night and hang out with ninjas and homies. Shane yelled about how some girl had saggy boobs. It was amusing

Jumpkicks

After going out friday night in OB I awoke to the sweet soothing sounds of people screaming about the maggots in the kitchen. Once the maggots were removed I was given some sweet ass jumpkick lessons from a real life ninja. This was roughly par for the course after a night of drinking pink ninjas